Worship

I have been doing a lot of thinking about my faith and my expectations of the routines and events that are incorporated in my faith. I grew up in a very small church which was made of concrete block exposed both externally and internally. It had a flat roof, was a large rectangle in layout, with the main entrance being a square which rose to about half again the height of the church and served as a make believe bell tower. Music was played through 4 large horn speakers which I always imagined drove our very close neighbors bonkers. Inside the church it was extremely sparse. Asphalt tile covered the floor in red and black one foot squares the entire length and width of the church including the nursery, classrooms, rest rooms, office, hall and vestibule out in the “bell tower.”

Long, perhaps 20 feet long, very light in color wood benches stretched across the width of the building’s center with identical benches on each side of perhaps10 feet aligned perfectly. That provided two aisles from front to back which made nearly every type of ceremony awkward. Does the processional come down the left aisle or the right? Go out the right aisle or the left? All of that had to be decided before hand.

The building always seemed cold and uninviting to me. It is the first church I remember attending although I was in at least two others prior to my parents establishing this church as their church home. I only had two pastors while I was there from about kindergarten until I left home for good at the age of 18. The first pastor was very knowledgeable in the scriptures but liked to speak on the wonders of the universe and how amazing it all was. He probably was the only minister in those days that I knew that seemed to have an eye for and an interest in science.

He retired when I was in about the eighth or ninth grade. Our second minister turned out to be a true literalist and a Bible pounding fire and brimstone type of preacher. Long altar calls to the same 30 or 40 people who were so faithful the neighbors could set their clocks by our goings and coming from church. Beat beat beat us up every service like we were sloppy wayward drunks who had left our wives and 13 children at home to fend for themselves. I never liked a single church service after this man came. I grew to detest church. Why anyone would want to join our church was beyond my comprehension.

I left that church to serve a different kind of hard task master, Uncle Sam. I spent 4 years in misery wondering why I did that. When I was released I almost immediately got married to a woman who had been raised in a very similar church and was still going to one. Being told my entire life that if I didn’t marry in THAT fellowship I would face total destruction and heartache I married the first woman who smiled at me.

While I still chaffed at going to those kinds of services, she and I began to build a family and tried hard to tiptoe through and around the church without making too many waves. We left her church for another even more literal church, and then moved out of state to another church of the same mindset. We managed to stay there for all the wrong reasons for 11 years. We again moved out of state and found a church exactly the same only this church had only 12 or 14 people on big Sundays and was an hour’s drive from home, both ways.

We gave it up after a couple of months and in spite of dire warnings of destruction we went to a more normal denominational church to check it out. We liked it and stayed. It was a literalistic church as well, but just not nearly so hard on its membership.

This church looked like a church; it was a steep A-frame design with stained amber full windows with supporting gently curved wood beams inside. The Sanctuary was all wood with a very nice carpet in the aisles. It was traditional in that it had a central aisle that formed a cross. On the outside at the front of the roof was a very high steeple with a cross at the top. It just had the feel of a place of worship to me.


It was during our stay at this church that our children grew up, matured and began to find their own lives and careers. During our time at this church I continued my quest into science and began to diverge away from the main stream of the church thinking. At just over 15 years I decided it was time to move again. My wife did not want to leave. She was involved and had established some true friendships. So we agreed to not let our going to different churches be a problem to us.

One month short of 3 years later I had a serious stroke. In the early hours of the process in the emergency room and acute care facilities it looked like I may not come out of the coma I was in. Why I did I believe I will never know, other than there were 6 local ministers and some others praying for my recovery. I don’t discuss what I believe was the impact of that, but I do believe my recovery, within essentially 3 weeks, was divinely orchestrated.

During my recovery after I was released from medical care my wife graciously provided transportation for me to the church I had been attending. During those weeks and months she began to appreciate the music and message and structure of this new church, and just never returned to our former church.

This new church had a long established congregation that worshiped in a small but traditionally designed and built church. They had constructed a new church building on the outskirts of town that was more all purpose in layout than traditional. It has the feeling of an arena. It has open steel beams near the ceiling and a wrap around balcony where the offices and electronic equipment are housed. It has computerized lighting, sound and projection systems which are very cutting edge. The music in the services is considered to be “choruses” in nature with no traditional song books available. Announcements, words to songs, movies both professional and in house are shown on the two large screens for faster dissemination of information and participation.

Sermons are normally 30 to 45 minutes in length because there are several services in the same place each Sunday morning. Cars in the parking lot are guided in and out by parking attendants making the exit of early goers quick so the late comers can get in quickly. Food and beverage is always available and many take their selections right into the service as if it was a trip to the movies rather than a time of worship.

With multiple ministers and a large support staff the 1700 or so attendees at this church with their children are “serviced” at any level they are comfortable. I really don’t know how all of this will come out in light of eternity, but I see glaring faults in the system. However, it is a long ways beyond the way I was churched in reaching out to the community. And in reality, it is our job to reach, God takes over from there. We have to step back and let that happen.

The reason for this rambling is that my soul has begun to develop a yearning for a more formalized place of worship. I always considered large churches with their Gothic architecture to be places of wonder and when I am in them, I see the magnificent works of many craftsmen’s hands. And while I was raised to worship God and not man, I see the hand of God that worked through these men and women artisans to create the intricately cut and painted and woven and hammered pieces of tiny to enormous objects of worship, and I am awed.

I am planning to be in service at the National Cathedral in Washington DC this coming Sunday, a week away. Every time I walk down that massive central nave I am reminded of the sweeping camera shot of Maria as she walks towards Captain Von Trapp on their wedding day in The Sound of Music. The organ is full volume as it pushes you back into your seat with the instrumental version of “How Do You Solve a Problem like Maria.” I always whisper to myself, what a magnificent place to be married or eulogized.

Part of this process is a shift in what I believe is the functions and values of church. I used to believe church was where the sinner found God. I believed that church was where we were taught Christian principles and received guidance for living a holy life. Church was a place of gathering people together of like faith envelopment for encouragement and bonding. I believed the church was a place where resources came together to be redistributed for the benefit of those who need help. I believed that church was a refuge and a sanctuary from the toils and trials of life.

In my later years I am seeing church differently. All of the things just mentioned are still true, but the roles have changed for me.

I no longer feel that church is the best place for sinners to see God as a savior. I think that is better done outside the church. In the work place. In the market place. At school. At home. At social functions of all kinds. Christians need to stop believing there are appropriate times and places to introduce God to people who don’t know Him, and times and places where it is inappropriate. There is no place or time when introducing people to God is inappropriate.

I also believe that too many have become dependent on being taught Christian principles and guidance for holy living at church. It is still an appropriate and good place. But if all we learn about walking with Christ is what we learn at church, I really don’t think we’ll ever see Him face to face. It simply is not enough. There is not time in church to learn all that needs to be learned.

I am also distressed at how much like the entertainment world the church has become. Nowhere in anyone’s interpretation of scripture do we find God encouraging or outlining entertainment. In God's time, there simply isn’t time for entertainment in the few years we have on earth. And I am weary of church services feeling more like a trip to the carnival than a place of sacred, somber and reflective worship of God.

In my later years I believe I want to be in more solemn places on the Lord’s Day.